About
My name is Jessica Stickles. I'm a writer/performer living in LA, pining for NYC, who knows a lot about cartography and Theodore Roosevelt. You can see me improvising and performing comedy at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre. You can also see me at a diner ordering something called the "California Health Salad" which is cottage cheese, fruit and jello served over iceberg lettuce.
Following
Sorry Tebow. Jesus had courtside tix tonight. What can ya do?
1. Put butter in right butter shelf spot in refrigerator.
2. Don’t eat beans out of can. Put them in corn can and mix.
3. Figure out race.
4. Try to be more open with doors.
5. Let friends come over to apartment now that smell is gone.
6. Get more keys made. Just in case there is a key shortage because of a famine.
7. Start more feuds with rappers.
8. Call all exes and explain confused feelings toward them.
9. Make sure my emergency contact is worth it.
10. Look into my finances because I think they might have an alcohol problem or pills.
11. Read more. HAHAHAHAHA.
12. Change cat burial spot. Is getting noticeable.
13. Don’t go into neighbors’ apartments without permission a lot.
14. Make up mind about working hard or hardly working because not nothing and nothing is getting done.
15. Don’t jump to conclusions unless they’re going to lead to interesting rumors.
16. Just breathe versus whatever I’ve been doing because I’ve been passing out a lot lately.
17. Put up emotional walls so when I start dating someone I can say “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall” and he’ll be like “Uh check please?” and we won’t even be at a restaurant; we’ll be at an apartment, probably one of my neighbors’.
18. Stop talking to a tea cup because I think it might feel anxiety about not being as big as the other dishes and like I get that because I’m only 5 foot three.
19. See if rosaries are still big. Act accordingly.
20. Get bitchin’ car with wings on it.
You can ignore this post. This is me having a nostalgia moment that only 8 other people will understand. Move along.
This song is entitled P.O.S. It appears in the most recent episode of Things That Happen In My Head - Episode 15: Making Friends. I recommend watching it. But while you’re here, enjoy the song.
I wrote it and did all the vocals and mixing. I am a fartduple threat.
Who says I haz no moneys?
I’m all weddy for Amerwica’s bwoothday!
The top member of Nancy Drew’s Clue Crew.
I should look into writing a children’s book based on Newt Gingrich as A little Girl. Who knows that dude at that book company everyone talks about?
(Source: newtasalittlegirl)
A casual Monday for little Newt Gingrich.
(Source: newtasalittlegirl)
